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So I’m writing my first original novel. Not a fan fiction! And because we’re living during unprecedented times, I need something even more absurd than reality. I chose to post this snippet here instead of in the category for Magical Girl Misfits, because I don’t want to muddy up that area, and this is just a fun little exercise. I’m not even sure I’m going to keep it for the final novel project.
Yes, this is a comedy, reminiscent of older movies from the 1970s and 80s. Comedy movies, such as Space Balls, The Naked Gun, Airplane!, Police Academy, and The Cannon Ball Run, to name a few. Yes, this is also very anime-centric. My girls are not only totally queer, but sport pink pigtails and dress rather bizarrely.
A brief introduction. Hikari is a Solar Mage. Her abilities specialize with the domains of Light and Heat. Basically anything dealing with our Sun. She’s a naive girl of 16. A mathematical genius, and she pumps up everything she does to level 11. She also the first character of a team of five other Misfits. And fair point, chronologically, she’s the youngest too. (We’re not tackling Matilda just yet.)
A bit about my writing style, if you haven’t figured this out yet, and I can’t blame you because I haven’t really felt motivated to post anything in this section since the Orange Turd …. yeah, I’ll leave that alone. Anyway, I’ve been called a “character sadist” by more than a few friends.
What I’m looking for here? Mostly to have some fun, but also, if you’d be so kind as to give a bit of constructive criticism on your way through. This is the third draft I’ve created for this scene, and I’m pretty impressed with it, but I feel that it could probably be improved. So, if you enjoy anime, shoujo, magical girls, science fiction, comedy, or just weird shit, please, I invite you to read! And without further delay, I present to you, Hikari Amaterasu…
“Incende Metamorphosin!”
Initiate Transformation!
An orchestra begins playing music softly, the sounds of a single flute, a pair of violins ascend the musical scale. After a measure, a snare drum begins a quiet cadence. Hikari gently lifts off the ground, raising her arms over her head, fingers extended. The background scenery is slowly replaced with an image of outer space, littered with tiny white stars fades into view. The camera pans downward to fix its gaze upon the Earth, while the Sun peeks over the curvature from the other side of the planet.
Hikari’s body begins to twirl counterclockwise slowly and the background scenery changed to an open field of wildflowers. Fresh scents of budding blossoms filled the air, a lone bird chirped happily.
The snare drum became louder, trumpets and French horns joined the musical accompaniment, the notes rang higher and louder on the scale, until finally the sound of a massive kettle drum echoes a roaring thunder, a single beat as an explosion of white light engulfed Hikari’s body. With her back shown toward the audience, her blouse, pants, and boots blew away from her in all directions.
“Oh! That kind of tickles!”
That chirping bird? It was silenced, and plummeted toward the green grass on the ground. Dead and smoldering. The soundtrack pauses after what sounds like a record being scratched.
A stream of white light enters the screen from the left. It moves slowly, and arcs widely around and behind Hikari. The music begins playing again, a crescendo of a trio of violins, the snare drum increasing its cadence. After making two passes around the screen, the ray of white light splits into two beams, and each travels a different direction, the new ray moving at a slower velocity than the original, both swirling around Hikari. Her body begins to spin clockwise slowly. The orchestra reaches a natural plateau, the note is held, the first beam abruptly changes direction and aims straight at Hikari’s hips. It slams into her body with the sound of an atomic bomb detonating, Hikari is folded at a forty-five degree angle now. She screams in agony as her bare flesh is burned to the first degree. A pair of brilliantly white panties materializes.
“AHHHH! HOT!”
The second beam abruptly changes direction, heading now directly towards Hikari’s chest, and plows into her upper torso, knocking her over backwards in midair. A delicate white bralette forms over her chest. Again, Hikari screams.
“JESUS CHRI.--”
Now Hikari tumbles both clockwise and backflips in mid air, bent at her pelvis. Another white bolt streaks across the sky and zooms off to the left off the screen. Hikari directly faces the audience now, the orchestra’s notes rise to a high register and hold. Hikari’s pupils shrink to become dots. She stretches her palms out in front of her, arms locked and straight, her mouth opens, but she’s blasted squarely in her chest with a loud KABOOM as a skin-tight, white bodice forms over her torso. Hikari tries to suppress her pain despite the second degree burns that cover her stomach.
“AAHHHHHHH--”
The music softens again, violins play rapid notes in a chorus. A kettle drum gives a deep, slow thumping beat, then the single note of a triangle being struck momentarily pauses the other melodies. A golden beam of pure light steaks across the sky behind Hikari. She follows it’s trajectory as she tumbles in midair, suspended within a strange zone of zero-gravity. The beam encircles Hikari, flirts with her, nearly chaffs her left thigh. It feels warm, like a ray of pure sunshine. Actually it feels pretty nice. It zooms off into the distance behind Hikari, makes a wide arc, and finally settles on a direction. Hikari is squarely in it’s path. The music comes back, increasing in volume, rising in pitch, like a swing in motion. The blast nails Hikari directly on her rump. She arches her back, and wails as she’s just received the most intense paddling of her life. A metallic golden pleated miniskirt materializes starting at her waist and stopping a couple inches down her thighs.
FUC--!
The background imagery changes again, to depict an orchard, with rays of sunshine poking through the branches. Another bolt of orange light appears from the upper left corner of the screen, and zooms toward the lower right, igniting the trees behind Hikari. The odor of charred wood, thick smoke and burning leaves fills the air. As the beam of light enters the screen again, it splits into four smaller beams of light, all moving at different speeds. The orchestra has added a Xylophone and Tom-Tom drums, giving a tropical flair to the score. Hikari chokes on the thick, putrid air and coughs.
“For the love of God,,,,”
The rays arc and loop around Hikari, teasing her form, the heat radiates from each bolt, nearly causing blisters to appear. One by one, each bolt abruptly changes course, locked in on Hikari in teh middle of the screen. The first one slams into Hikari’s waist. She flies several feet to the left with the gut-punch. An orange belt materializes.
“AH! IT BURNS!”
The second bolt comes around as the orchestra descends down into a musical valley. The orange bolt plows into Hikari’s left foot. A boot forms, crawling upwards to her knee.
“YAAAAH!”
The third ray swings around, comes in from behind as Hikari continues to tumble through the air. It envelopes Hikari’s right leg with a matching boot.
“OH MY GOD!”
The fourth bolt zig-zags to and fro, from right to left, behind and around to the front. It grows in size with each passing moment. The orchestra is reaching it’s conclusion, violins dance rapidly, the flute sounding like an ambulance speeding down the highway. Hikari’s eyes become as large as saucers as she realizes the end finally coming.
“Oh shit...”
She desperately wants to curl into the fetal position, but she can’t. Something bigger than her is forcing her to remain spread open like a starfish. She squeezes her eyes shut tightly as the final ray accelerates towards her, a direct frontal assault. It slams into her chest. An orange vest appears, and her body is blown backwards away from the camera. She flips through the air, gravity suddenly remembers it has a job to do, and yanks her downward. The orchard has been reduced to rubble, but the trees are gone, only piles of dilapidated buildings remain. The sky is a dark grey, but her body illuminates a small area, as if she were a star herself. Hikari’s body hits the ground, and like the detonation of a nuclear bomb, she too thunders, forming a mushroom cloud on impact. A bright flash of white light erupts in all direction, and the final notes of a lone flute finally comes to a faded ending.
A few moments later, Hikari slowly climbs out of the crater, dirty, scorched, and slightly irradiated. She stands up slowly.
“Ouch.”
The words “Incendium Perfectum” marquee across the screen.
Transformation Complete.