I Lost My Paddle?

My description of an "Oh schist" moment.

Living within the United States is absolutely disgusting. And if you’re one of the over 300 million residents, then you’ll probably agree with me. Unless, of course, you’re one of the top 1% of the population. But why, why do I say living here in this Hell is disgusting? Pull up a chair, and I’ll tell you a story about today’s adventure!

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been living in agony. I have at least one, if not two teeth that probably need to be extracted. Last week on my day off, I called around, looking for dentists in my area that can handle a same-day extraction. (Having lost several teeth due to my previous life while under incarceration, care of your generous tax payer dollars, I’m well familiar with this process.) Anyway, after several phone calls, I found such a place within walking distance of my home. This is important, because I don’t own a car, nor possess a driver’s license. I also have no friends nor family to call upon in my time of need. But that’s beside the point.

So I scheduled the appointment, and walked in. A mere half mile, about 15 minutes, I was seen by a dentist. And I’m guessing as a new patient, she took all kinds of cool pictures of the insides of my mouth. Lots of x-rays too. Half an hour later, she comes back to me and states that there is considerable damage to my teeth, and it will cost slightly over $17,000 to fix everything. My insurance, that I just received this year, only covers $1,000, and only between 50% and 80% of the cost. She scheduled a dental cleaning.

I’m a little confused as to why only a cleaning was scheduled, but I didn’t think too much about it. I mean, it’s probably a good idea to start with a strong foundation, and to clear away five years of neglected dental care, a cleaning sounds like a great start. Today, was my appointment.

I was slightly concerned about the pain that would be incurred. I have a molar on my left side that erupts in near incapacitating throbbing pain anytime hot or cold substances comes in contact with it. And I have a fang? (I’m not really sure what it’s called) on the top of my mouth that echos randomly in pain, just whenever the hell it feels like singing. To cope, I’ve been swallowing more than my typical dose of 3,200 mg of Ibuprofen daily (for my ongoing plantar fasciitius issue), to nearly 4,800 mg of Ibuprofen and 3,000 mg of Tylenol. I should seriously by stock in these companies.

The cleaning was very mild, and actually fairly pleasant. Only the slightest twinges of pain. This hygienist was an expert! As I’m leaving with my $23 tube of high-concentrated fluoride toothpaste, I inquire about setting up an appointment for my tooth pain. The receptionist had nothing regarding it.

What?

So after a few moments he gets back to me with a projected bill summary. Nearly $2,000 and that’s just for one tooth, my molar. Remember, up to $1,000 will be covered by my insurance. But that’s it for the year. I have at least two teeth that are sending discomfort. Payment of half is required at the time of the appointment, the balance is due within two weeks. I have about five dollars in my checking account (after the toothpaste—that I had to transfer some of my rent money to cover!), and zero in my saving account. I have a credit card balance of $297 out of $300, and $25 is due by the 20th. Somehow. I now don’t even have half of my rent stored for June’s payment. I still need to pay for laundry tonight.

So, what does this mean? Obviously, I’ll continue to trash my liver and kidneys with over the counter pain killers, until one day, I kick the proverbial bucket— or I end up getting sepsis or whatever it is from my rotten teeth. Although, I’m not convinced it’s quite that serious, since it doesn’t appear that I have an infection, just yet.

People on other various social media sites have been screaming at me, “Go to the Emergency room.” or “Get Credit Care”. That might be doable for them, but with my rent consuming slightly over 86% of my income, I have no free time to pick up a second income (assuming I can even get hired in this economy), because my commute just to get to work is nearly two hours in one direction. I simply can’t afford the additional payments, and it would be a one time Hail Mary. I won’t be able to get the help again if something truly serious were to come up.

Anyway, that was my adventure. Today’s mission status:

… FAILED.