What If I Were to Become Quantum Catnip?
A Random Rambling of a Catgirl.
I’ve been thinking about the After Life a lot recently.
How boring it must be, to be all alone. Deafening silence surrounds you. Not feeling any tenderness of embracing. Never to be hungry. Not having to work to survive. To just exist. No war. Only constant changes.
One moment you’re a particle of Quantum Energy, an atom bouncing and be-bopping to and fro, the next you’re a radio transmission. Your encoded message is something about deodorant, but you’re only one tiny piece of that message. Perhaps you’re just the O. And then as quickly as that happened, you’ve transformed yet again into the remnants of heat loss. To be transformed yet again into water vapor, maybe, as part of some distant galaxy somewhere far, far away, long, long ago. You’ve become a speck of what was once a planet, obliterated by a massive weapon of destruction— oh wait. Never-mind. You’re just a speck of ink on a page from the script of George Lucas’ Star Wars.
If Quantum theories are correct and we are nothing but energy vibrations, tiny particles of frequency within and outside of the Universe, I wonder what the process is to being selected to crystalize into a human being. A mortal. With feelings and desires. The ability to directly affect your surroundings. How does that transformation happen? Is it like a lottery?
Isn’t life just wonderful? Then why am I so dammed depressed? We have all this power contained within our fingertips, yet, I don’t know about you, but I feel so powerless. So useless. I know that I’m not worthless, at least. But then again, how do you gauge value? Against what measure? Certainly not gold or silver. Labor? Maybe it’s just blind faith? It seems that all of humanity is just used, just exploited by others. Sometimes, I think it would be nice to just be a numb little Quark, a Photon, just moving from point A to point B, just as quickly as you can go. But your only job is to either be a particle or a wave, depending if your being observed by humans or not, right?
I wonder if other energy waves glow, like photons do? Like, just because we can’t see those particles glowing in non-visible spectrum of electro-magnetism, doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t give off color, or light, or maybe other information. Do photons emit sound? Maybe our ears can’t perceive that data. Are thoughts nothing more than just energy waves moving through Time and Space? I wonder, can I leave my future self a note? Or rather, why didn’t I leave my past self a note or two. Would I have even read it— or known to read it? Maybe the way of handling data in the future is vastly different than how we communicate today? I mean, we primarily use computers, and electrons today, but while I was growing up, I’d have to search for a book, or a scrap of notebook paper.
And that gets me thinking about my Higher Self. It must be extremely frustrating to know everything that is ever going to happen to every incarnation that you’ll live through. You want to tell yourself not to do dumb shit, but you do it anyway. All for the experience of just doing it. I imagine, it’s like playing an MMORPG, but you’re not truly in control of the character-avatar. But there you are in the void of empty space shouting and cursing at the top of your lungs to turn right to avoid being the target of incoming hatred. Or you know the answer to that problem that’s causing so much depression in your life, but it seems that no matter how hard you try, your character-avatar just can’t hear you.
Are we all, each and every one of us sitting in a giant room somewhere all shouting at some massive screen, watching the horrors that are playing out right now. Do we know that this is only temporary, and that none of this is any big deal, that everything will work out in the end? And why is it when we think of our Higher Selves, that we imagine these giant beings? For all we know, we could be the size of electrons. Just like concepts of time and distance are mere illusions to us, I would guess that other physical properties don’t truly exist either. So, size is also an illusion. And maybe our Higher Selves don’t even resemble human beings. Maybe we’re all just like cats? Or a single cat for that matter. Maybe it’s a black cat? Or a rainbow colored cat? There’s probably a good reason why cats were so revered and honored in ancient Egypt, right?
Maybe that’s the answer! My Higher Self is screaming at me to do something, but I, as a human being can’t understand what it’s meowing all about. And maybe when I do something correctly, I get that warm, fuzzy feeling inside? Maybe that’s just my Higher Self purring. Say, does anybody have some Higher Catnip? Maybe when I rejoin the collective in empty space again, and become that Quantum particle, I can be transformed into a High. I’ll become some energetic form of catnip—but for Higher Selves. Oh, but wait. That’s why we incarnate, isn’t it. Because as an energy particle, we have zero control in what we do or become. We can only respond by using the laws of Physics.
Meow?